Everything about me seems wrong. I failed like every single thing that ever happened to my life. Or maybe that's what everyone have been telling me. Or someone, in particular.

You know you'll never make it when you fail being something you're destined to be. I can't wear make ups, I can't cook, I can't even talk softly, or flashed a smile to someone. It's not that I didn't try, it's just, I think I wasn't designed for it.

This is the 17th year I have lived, and I feel nothing. Nothing. Like I feel no better after doing things people say you're supposed to to this. I didn't live for the past 17 years.

There are some times where all I wanna do is explode. Blew my own brain out. Boom, dead.

I don't want those sentimental feeling of What would people do without me? or Is there anyone there who misses me? Man that's some fucked up gay shit. The main reason people wants to die every day, is because they want to. Because they don't feel that living is the right way to live. You don't get it? Sure, your brain doesn't reach that level. And people like you, are unfortunately, sometimes the reason why people slit their wrist and let their blood out of their system.

They want to disappear from this fucked up thing you called living.